The Truth About Rejection

I’m sure we’ve all felt rejection one way or another. Rejection has no limits. It seeps into every aspect of our lives: socially, professionally, romantically. And it has this undeniable ability to make us believe that we aren’t valued.

Maybe you had a high school teacher tell you that you would never be successful in that one thing you’re passionate about.

Maybe you’ve had that irreconcilable fight with your life-long best friend.  

Maybe you’ve encountered the messy breakup, the one where you’ve looked the other in the eyes telling them you love them and they still chose to walk away.

Maybe you’ve put yourself out there for a job and things just didn’t go according to plan.

Maybe you’ve felt abandoned by a mentor, a father-like figure in your life.

The list could go on and on if we choose to linger there…maybe some of these scenarios are true for you. Maybe some of these are true for me even as of recent.

But maybe none of that even matters.

In the grand scheme of things, life is good. We are all blessed beyond measure. I know for me, much of my life hasn’t been burdened by the awful affliction of rejection and I don't take that for granted. But whenever it does trickle into my life, boy does it hurt like hell.  

I’ve recently discovered something new about myself: When I’m dealing with rejection I have this uncanny ability to remain “normal.” And what I mean by "normal" is this...I will acknowledge my hurt, I will rationalize it through words and "healthy" dialogue with those closest to me. However, this vulnerability doesn’t feel as authentic. And maybe this is because we feel like we must bring logic to feelings that appear completely irrational; we must make sense of our emotions even when they don’t make sense to ourselves. And maybe this isn’t helping us deal with rejection at all.

I am discovering that the more we lean toward the rational, the more isolated we become. We pretend we are not hurting; we pretend to be someone we are not. We become more and more invisible to the point that no human interaction can truly provide the connection that our rejected selves yearn for.

It’s easy to reject ourselves and remain trapped in negative thoughts. It’s easy to act like we’re okay when we’re not, and avoid these interactions that remind us of our rejection.

The truth is this: Rejection is more internal than it is external. We blame the outside for what we’re afraid to deal with internally.

It takes courage to accept ourselves in the midst of rejection.

So I hope you know that dealing with rejection takes work. You will become distracted by thoughts that will draw you back to self-contempt, trying to convince yourself that you’re not valued. But I want you to know that you are valued, and you have the strength to let all your negative thoughts go. You were created by a God who loves you unconditionally and has already instilled in you the strength to overcome this season.

Rejection will always exist. Today I’m choosing to not live in the fear of it but to rather trust God and, through His strength, build resilience in the midst of hard outcomes.